Cliques. A word I detest. They can turn your high school career into a dream or a nightmare. Unfortunately, it does not stop there. Welcome to Rhodes, Clique Central. You might think such a liberal, forward-thinking university in the arts capital of South Africa would have been spared, but cliques are inescapable. You see them everywhere. In the dining hall, different culture groups pretty much keep to themselves. In lectures, you will normally find the jocks sitting somewhere in the middle towards the back. Then there are the “school friends” cliques, consisting of people who have come from school together and who look at you like you have a mango for a head if you attempt any form of friendly interaction.
Since arriving at Rhodes, I have been called many things. “Hippie”, “flower child”, “fairy”. You get the picture. It makes me giggle a bit, because although I don’t mind, I really don’t consider myself any of those things. But it is natural for people to want to try and place others in a box, and of course with young people that is even more so. So put 6000 young people in a very small space like Rhodes and voila, time to get cliquey. What I can’t understand is, we have the most amazing opportunity at university to meet such diverse, interesting people, and yet we insist on sticking with the people who look like us, dress like us, talk like us. Of course a friendship group is naturally based on common interests, but that shouldn’t be to the exclusion of all other people.
Maybe the term “clique” is too strong a word. It is not as though there are rival groups of people going around campus trying to bring each other down - the Hippies versus the Hip hop-heads-type scenario. It’s more just a case of pure ignorance and small-mindedness. Most students don’t actually seem to care that there are people out there who are different to them, but who they could learn so much from. After we have placed someone in a box that is different from our own, it’s almost as if they get checked off the “potential friend material” list. There is a gnawing passivity, as if to say, “I’m happy the way I am with my friends, why should I go out of my way?”
I am certainly not implying that we should all become best friends with everyone. Friendship groups are born out of a sense of community and commonality, and that’s ok. What is wrong, is when we never stop for five seconds to peep out of our safe cocoon at the rest of humanity. And I speak from experience; at times it will be hard. You have to learn to adjust to people of different cultures and backgrounds, the way they do things and even the way they speak. Sometimes you will feel like a colossal idiot, as you can almost hear the people around you wondering, “what is she doing here??”. But seriously, can we try and just get over ourselves? If a black person is best friends with a white person, or Barbie enjoys hanging with Dreadlocks Dude, so what? We are a multicultural, diverse country and that is how it should be. It doesn’t mean we are forgetting where we have come from or selling out. It means we have finally come to our senses and realised something of great significance: clique culture sucks (or at the very least, should be left behind in high school)!
Since arriving at Rhodes, I have been called many things. “Hippie”, “flower child”, “fairy”. You get the picture. It makes me giggle a bit, because although I don’t mind, I really don’t consider myself any of those things. But it is natural for people to want to try and place others in a box, and of course with young people that is even more so. So put 6000 young people in a very small space like Rhodes and voila, time to get cliquey. What I can’t understand is, we have the most amazing opportunity at university to meet such diverse, interesting people, and yet we insist on sticking with the people who look like us, dress like us, talk like us. Of course a friendship group is naturally based on common interests, but that shouldn’t be to the exclusion of all other people.
Maybe the term “clique” is too strong a word. It is not as though there are rival groups of people going around campus trying to bring each other down - the Hippies versus the Hip hop-heads-type scenario. It’s more just a case of pure ignorance and small-mindedness. Most students don’t actually seem to care that there are people out there who are different to them, but who they could learn so much from. After we have placed someone in a box that is different from our own, it’s almost as if they get checked off the “potential friend material” list. There is a gnawing passivity, as if to say, “I’m happy the way I am with my friends, why should I go out of my way?”
I am certainly not implying that we should all become best friends with everyone. Friendship groups are born out of a sense of community and commonality, and that’s ok. What is wrong, is when we never stop for five seconds to peep out of our safe cocoon at the rest of humanity. And I speak from experience; at times it will be hard. You have to learn to adjust to people of different cultures and backgrounds, the way they do things and even the way they speak. Sometimes you will feel like a colossal idiot, as you can almost hear the people around you wondering, “what is she doing here??”. But seriously, can we try and just get over ourselves? If a black person is best friends with a white person, or Barbie enjoys hanging with Dreadlocks Dude, so what? We are a multicultural, diverse country and that is how it should be. It doesn’t mean we are forgetting where we have come from or selling out. It means we have finally come to our senses and realised something of great significance: clique culture sucks (or at the very least, should be left behind in high school)!
2 comments:
I believe in many of the points you have raised in your blog post. Rhodes is unique in that there is a diverse and multi-cultural aspect to it, for which we should all be grateful and it is something that we should embrace. Acceptance of people from all sorts of groups is imperative to a successful and fulfilling lifestyle. However, it is also perfectly natural for one to stick to what one knows. It may not be necessarily the right thing to do, but it is human nature and can be forgiven. It is natural to seek out those who are similar to you in background, culture and even looks. I believe that this happens on a subconscious level to a large degree, and for that, we cannot be blamed. I agree that it is wrong on all accounts to exclude people from a group and that one should not be judgemental of others and place them in certain boxes. However, I believe that people also create their own impressions for themselves and it is up to the individual to take responsibility as to what image he or she projects. I don’t believe that Rhodes is particularly bad at sticking to cliques. I come from a wealthy and snobbish high school, where cliques were notorious. In my experience, Rhodes is as liberal and open-minded as human nature allows. While your blog post raises some good points, I do not believe that Rhodes is as cliquey as you say it is.
Dear Pinky
I think that you have made some very strong points about Rhodes University being a cliquey environment; however I feel that you are being a bit narrow-minded in the sense that as first years we come to university with an open view on life. In my experience it is in first year that we form new friendships and enter into now environments from which we then create our circle of friends. Yes there are some people who come straight from school together, but in time the branch out and meet new people. I agree with you on the topic of placing others in a box, it is natural for teenagers as a way of comparing themselves to others, but I don’t see it as a way of perpetuating cliques, yes people do place a certain view on others at first, but usually those perceptions change with time as people get to know one another, it’s a defense mechanism, no-one wants to be rejected. In fact I believe that University encourages us to meet new, diverse, and different people everyday, with things like residence, societies, sports and even subject choice, these things, I think force us out of our comfort zone leaving us exposed and therefore encourage us to widen our friend community. I agree that there may be a select few of us that have a “potential friends” list, but the majority of Rhodes is incredibly friendly and welcoming. I have seen lots of new friendships where both parties are from different backgrounds and this shows what potential Rhodes has for its students to meet new people.
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